The other day, I was walking back to the metro station with someone who randomly asked me why I write. I answered almost instantly, "To let off steam. Every time I am furious or upset about something, I write about it." This is the reason why I had stopped posting. I couldn't bring myself to post.
But I thought about their question one too many times and the fact is, writing is very similar to catharsis, for me. I've grown up being bullied by egoistical losers who felt emasculated every time I called them out on their shit. I've grown up being lectured about how my thunder thighs and my bum don't look good at all (now, I just sing All About That Base and emphasize on the "I'm gettin booty back" part) and like any other average Indian kid, I have been told off for not scoring as well as other people my age. And now when I look back, I feel, as a 13 year old kid... majority of it was unnecessary stress which resulted in major self esteem issues. It could have been avoided and unfortunately, the fear of being judged stopped me from talking to people about it which is why I resorted to writing.
Besides, every time I sit to write I feel like I am not kidding myself or anyone else, for that matter. Blogging and talking to you guys is what has played a major role in taping the broken pieces back together.
I read a book called The Forty Rules Of Love by Elif Shafak a few months ago. I must say, it is one of the most beautiful books I have read in the longest time. It taught me that it is through love and acceptance that you can bring a positive change in and around you. And ever since then, slowly and gradually I am falling in love with the way I am- with all of my chubby thighs and my bum. I have learnt that love and acceptance is the only way. I feel happy and content with the way I am. I admit that I become insecure sometimes but I try not to focus on that part of my life. I believe in working on myself in order to achieve the desired goals which I hopefully will someday.
As for Melancholy, it has now become a distant friend who pays me a visit once in a while. I embrace her with open arms. We sit and chat over tea. I tell her lovely things about myself and so does she. She tells me about her life which is something along the lines of her name. I tell her that everything is going to be alright and that she should give Love a try. She tells me that she cannot bring herself to love someone else. I then ask her how she can possibly love someone else when she can't bring herself to love her own self? Try love, I ask her once again. She understands, stands up and embraces me and with a glint of hope in her eyes, she leaves. :)
Wearing: Sunglasses- ASOS, Button down embellished collar top- International Concepts, Velvet Skirt- Thrifted, Patent black heels- Next
If you're on the curvier side, try wearing flow-y bottoms and fitted tops. Embellished collars were never exactly my thing. I have always associate the detachable embellished collars with dog collars and I am against dog collars. But this one came attached with *LOL (pun intended) so I did not have a choice.
*Lots of Love